nothing screams “gay” louder than someone screaming “gay” really loud
unless your screams of “gay” are muffled by another guy’s cock
that’s pretty gay
My brother wasn’t smiling, so I wrote him a song with the G and D7 chords.
Here are the lyrics. I’ll make a video of me actually singing it later.
Anyways.
Gym, tan, who’s the rat?
Seriously. I know what I’m talking about.
I love you.
Last night I tried to get money out of my bra and I hit my nose on the table.
In Applebee’s.
It still hurts.
How to successfully climb a tree:
Step one: Find a tree. This one looks good.
Step Two: Find a partner. She will do. (Optional: Try planking.)
Step Three: Try to boost yourself on the partner’s leg, and have them throw you after straightening out. (Not effective, in most cases.)
Step Four: Use your partner as a human ladder.
Step Five: Proceed to bamf it up.
No, what Forest should have said was, “I don’t know, bitch. You fucking suck. You run off with some guy who hits you, I kick his ass and then you leave me AGAIN. You come back and fucking have sex with me and then LEAVE. You don’t tell me I have a kid until you’re DYING. You’re a cunt, Jenny, a real one. Fuck you, Jenny.”
Jenny doesn’t deserve Forest. You know who deserves Forest? Fucking, Bubba’s Momma. Fuck Jenny, JESUS.
Sorry, couldn’t hear you over myself being a BAMF.
